“A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

Proverbs 18:24

Scripture to meditate upon: 1 Samuel 18:1-4

I have made a distinction over the decades of the difference between “acquaintances” and “friends” when considering those that I spend time with. Especially in the current social media environment, the process of “being friended” does NOT (automatically) result in being accorded the label of “friend” (in fact it’s almost certain that this is “just” an acquaintance).

But, when I read this passage, it became apparent that there’s actually a third category that I had not considered…that of a “shared-soul” friend. The level of friendship held between Jonathan and David is vastly greater than just a normal friendship. It is not a natural thing to hold another person’s welfare as important as that of yourself (though the relationship between husband and wife should be nearly as close…at least in theory).

Just how deep this relationship was is demonstrated in the passage in 1 Samuel 20. Here David stays away from a meal where his presence would have been required (new moon celebration) and Saul asks for where David was (with the intention to kill him, of course). When Jonathan told his father David was “away” to a family celebration, “Saul’s anger was kindled against Jonathan” (verse 30) and he points out (correctly) that as long as David lived, Jonathan would never be permitted to obtain his place as king at Saul’s death. Jonathan was, in effect, giving up his own legacy to that of his “friend.” Had David not been in the picture, then Jonathan would naturally be the next in line for the throne, and Saul was correct in his assessment of the situation.

Jonathan’s reaction was proof of his love for David. When he “…rose from the table in fierce anger and ate no food the second day of the month…” (verse 34), it showed he cared more for David’s life than any future destiny he was entitled to.

A sober review of my relationships with everyone I know suggests that this kind of friendship (for which I don’t have a specific label to apply…”friend” seems too weak to differentiate this special relationship) is indeed rare, if present at all. After some meditation, the only person that would fit this relationship is that of Jesus…and full disclosure requires admitting even this relationship often fails to be held in the highest level of esteem required (though due to failure on MY part, not on the lack of commitment of Jesus). This failing has been (and continues to be) grounds for confession and reconciliation.

May I suggest a review of your relationships…and taking actions to reinforce each connection as appropriate.

Phred the Elder
DC3 Redwood Itinerant Heretic

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