Category Archives: general stuff

One (Baby) Step At A Time…”

It is the first week of July and a month since I’ve even been attached to this site. I have had several readers ask about my lack of content (one even called, an old high school buddy) and asked me what was the deal?

Short answer: I’m busy.

Longer answer: I’m involved in several different changes in my life that I am focusing my attention on and how I am splitting my energy and focus is in flux.

Even longer (rambling, reasonably pointless) answer: It all started with a passing comment in an earlier posting that my IPad had finally died (read it here, if you are interested or sufficiently bored). A friend from my church casually mentioned he had a spare and was willing to pass it along. I met him (he works weekdays about 90 km away) on an off day at the local Apple store so he could dump the data from his old one to (one of) his newer models and give me an essentially blank machine. After only about 189 minutes (typical example of how things seem to seldom go smoothly for me) of standing in the parking lot he returned with a 3rd gen IPad with retina display. Compared to my earlier model, this is like an upgrade from your basic clunker first car (189,600 miles and more rust than metal visible, but it runs…mostly) to your mid life second family vehicle (couple of years old, 60-70 thousand miles, but pretty well maintained and not too badly equiped, and at least an order of magnitude or two better than that first embarasement of a car). The crack in the screen of this one is about 6 times as long and is visibly distracting when focusing on the upper right corner of the display, but the dual cameras (front AND back) more than make up for the imperfection (and it doesn’t seem to be anything but a cosmetic blemish…so far).

Since I had a habit of downloading programs (free, of course) to try and run several iOS versions outdated, I had accumulated about 700 different programs to choose from to install back on this new toy. Many were no brainer choices, one was a fitness app that allows me to track my diet, exercise (HAHAHA), weight and that of my friends (MyFitnessPal). I had used it sporadically with the old pad and I thought it might be a good idea to start journaling my food intake again. It was early in May.

About a week later I read an article that pointed me to a couple of books on productivity. Which I ordered from my library and waited a week to receive. Then I read The One Thing (a book review here) and I decided the one thing I needed to do was to lose weight. So I determined I would eat less and set goals with this purpose in mind. This was about the end of the 3rd week in May.

Time passes, and more books come in from the library. The latest on loan (due back in 10 days) are Take the Stairs and Procrastinate on Purpose, both by Rory Vaden. (I hope to write reviews of both before they have to be returned to the ether.)  I think this is a personal example of witnessing the exact snowflake that causes an avalanche. Everything stacked up with the reading (and re-reading, and re-re-reading) of these books to cause me to question everything in my life. Where I have been, where am I now, and where do I want to go from here. Why? What do I need to do (or more importantly, not do) to get there?

The month of June became one great soul-search of meaning and purpose (all the time keeping under my food budget). Add to this a incidental visit to my mom and sister (where my mom lives now) and the mention of a desire to eventually obtain a exercise (HAHAHA) monitor. My sister then goes to a drawer and brings out a FitBit Ultima and gives it to me. Another excuse falls and another snowflake drops into place. And since she also uses the same food/fitness program, she agrees to be an accountability partner in my journey. Another nudge.

So. June passed without posting an article. There were a lot of things that I usually did that didn’t happen last month. I didn’t watch as much TV (one reason is it’s the dead zone of programming, there is less that the usual dribble of programs worth watching, so it wasn’t so hard/bad, but truth disclosure demands I watched considerably less news and science programming, also, so there was a significant reduction in my electric bill from non-TV consumption). I didn’t play video games on my PS3 at all. (I did fire it up a couple of times to access YouTube for a couple of tutorials.) I spent far less time on the computer (my Blender work suffered nearly as much as my blog). No movies, no fast food, limited travel. Much of the month was spent in meditation (read: intense thinking and considering options) and contemplation (not of my navel, that was more of a ’70s activity and I think I have out-grown the need for that).

So where does that take us? Currently, I believe I will continue to focus much of my energy to changing the general direction this “ship of state” is heading (similar to a huge ore freighter, my life has rarely been able to change in any direction without making a three hour, 5-mile radius turn, or involving a dozen or more diesel tug boats forcing me to go sideways in an unnatural course change). I believe I will be more active in posting in the cooler seasons, so the “three-a-week” schedule is temporarily disabled. I think a post every couple of weeks is more likely as things stabilize. Overall, I still have a desire to write, and share observations I’ve gleaned from life as we know it, but at this season it is not at the top of my list, so it’s being POPed (procrastinated on purpose, from the book of the same  name) to allow me to do more significant things first.

And the progress on that weight thing? As of this morning, I have lost 33 pounds since I started journaling. I am on track to be at 300 pounds by my birthday in September and at 275 by New Year’s Eve. And believe me when I say that is truly encouraging all by itself. If nothing else comes of my month of introspection, it will be more than worth it in the long(er) run.

So, I leave you with my best (admittedly really bad) Austrian accented quote:

“I’ll be back…”

Phred

post 74 of n

Concessions In The Theater Of Your Mind

I awoke from my ugly nap this afternoon in a mood most foul. I was involved in playing cards (Euchre) with others and the last hand was one I thought I could do well with. Another gentleman declared trump and I felt I had a very good chance at setting him. I then discovered the rules (in this game, not in the real world) required my cards to be taken to another table and played by a woman that had not demonstrated much of an understanding of the game. I was incensed, screaming that there were two ways to play the hand, the right way and one that “might possibly have a chance of winning.” I then awoke without knowing which way the hand went, but furious none the less.

Staring at the ceiling I contemplated what had just occurred (while waiting for my blood pressure to return to normal). In general, I am an even-tempered person, not often riled to the point of violent expression of emotions. Unlike some people I am related to, I don’t scream loudly or throw things when events don’t go the way I think they should. Most of the time I simply express my hope that the horrific drivers around me actually MAKE it to their destination rather than express my gratitude that they’re “number one” in my book by hand signals. I’m pretty calm overall.

Until I fall asleep. From acts of violence against others worthy of at least an “R” rating (and hours of cleanup by stagehands afterward) and property damage requiring incarceration prior to judgement, to leg-buckling events of terror beyond the imagination of King or Hitchcock. I often awake drenched in a cold sweat, heart palpitation violent enough to consider ringing for the attendant (there’s a medical call string in my apartment that notifies the authorities to come and assist…presuming your “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” moment occurs within a couple feet of the bed or toilet). Or the need to change pillowcases after they are discovered swamped with tears of sadness. (On second thought, this doesn’t count as I find the crushing waves of despair and loneliness occur during waking moments, too….)

So why the greatly amplified expression of emotions in my dreams? Perhaps this is a way of retaining my sanity against the madness of the greater world in the land of light. By experiencing and expressing these emotions in the privacy of my own head (which I would never do in the real world) I am then able to keep a relatively even keel in public. I don’t have to “go postal” at the incompetency of my clerk or waitstaff because I have already vented enough pressure during the darkness to keep in control.

Also, why do I continue to go to work delivering propane to clients in the night, when this part of my occupation history ended in 1990? Or wander through the same school campus between unknown classes I am inevitably late enough to watch other students depart from as I approach? At least I find most elevator shafts actually contain a car when the doors open (which they rarely did in my younger years… but the sensation of awakening just as you hit the bottom from a great height and floating to the top of your mattress as your eyes opened eventually became a thrill rather than a terror). What perverse need is there in the depths of my psyche to torture me nightly with a “night life” more boring than my real one, so much that the memory of what transpired evaporates within the time it takes to return from the bathroom. And then, just as unexpectedly as opening the door to the Publisher’s Clearing House crew, I am subjected to wild acts of debauchery and decadence requiring the rating board to turn away in horror, hastily slapping a MA rating or worse on my subconscious life.

Were there a pattern, some explainable reason why the cinema of the mind chooses which film to show on any given night I could better deal with the confusion. Part of my daily journal keeping includes recording such dreams as I can remember (by the time I get up and fire up the computer…maybe 1 in 10 overall?). Also included in the journal is a rambling account of the day’s events and food choices for meals, so I have been able to examine at least some of the surrounding events leading up to a significant dream event. I have never found any correlation between eating anchovies on my pizza (Yumm… I know, I’m weird) and driving a truck later that evening. Or enough variance in my drab existence to justify ripping the still-beating heart out of my nearest attacker while war rages around me.

And don’t get me started on the couple of times I was able to experience lucid dreaming. Oh, how I’ve tried to set up the joy of being fully in control of my surroundings while aware it was all a dream. The movie Inception only got it half right when everything aligns during a lucid session. Flying and changing your surroundings with a wave of your hand is AWESOME! And rare enough to awake to extreme frustration that the movie ended a quickly as it did.

What I’m left with is a Wheel-Of-Fortune method of determining what channel appears each night (or afternoon in this case) and my ticket is non-refundable. This is just another example of why I think Rod Serling is present in my apartment. (If I just whip my head around fast enough I think I can get a glimpse of him standing behind me….)

So, what I want to know is this, within the theater of my mind, where presumably I have season tickets to my own private screening of life as I think it woulda/coulda/shoulda be…

Why do I always have to wait in line to buy popcorn?

Phred

post 73 of n

Wide World Of Sports (As Of Today)

Initial Disclaimer: I know where this posting starts from, I don’t know where it is going (which makes it pretty much a typical rant).

I am a spectator in the game of life. Last night, I watched “my” team’s kickball game at the park. Delta Force won their first game of the season (Go Delta!), despite the fact that they only had about two-thirds of their normal squad. Fact was they only had 10 players (the normal amount on the field at any time) evenly divided between men and women (a mixed couple team layout, each team required to put roughly half of each on a game’s lineup). They played their best game of the season winning 5-2.

One of the principle players absent last evening was watching his daughter’s last lacrosse game (I think she’s in middle school, but I get confused about kid ages…). Also in the park were a couple of adult softball leagues (the park has 6 diamonds). The city of Lansing also has a class A Minor League baseball team affiliated with the Toronto Blue Jays and nearby an American Professional Soccer team (designated a Tier 4 league, for whatever that means). Michigan State University is here (technically in East Lansing, but it meets CEFGW* standards) to provide Big 10 level excitement. There’s dozens of high schools in the area, each with the normal regimen of sport teams. And each of the dozens of golf courses and bowling alleys in the area have their allotment of leagues, bringing together testosterone, alcohol, and competition nightly.

So, on any given day, I have dozens of choices where to go to witness competition in the realm of physical battle. From the youngest T-Ball game to the highest echelon of college/semi-pro sports I can spectate to the point of exhaustion. (Please note, I do not consider myself a “fan” as I don’t have a close enough relationship with any of the teams to generate the rabid, zealous devotion that the shortened form of the word “fanatic” requires. Thus the term spectator.)

So, has it always been this way, or am I just more sensitive to the multiplex draws of sports participation in my waning years? Thinking back to my childhood, it was typical (expected?) for young boys to play little-league baseball. High school sports involved baseball, football, track and field, wrestling, and (in the larger schools) swimming. (Oh, yeah, there was basketball, too, but I have a serious aversion to the game so it slipped my mind there for a moment.) My mom’s family were avid bowlers so she was on a league and my dad played golf weekly on a team with a couple of co-workers. Flint (a city about 40 miles away from home) had a minor league hockey team and some of my dad’s friends played “slow-puck” hockey (no serious violence allowed, as the average player age was 40ish), but apart from these examples following sports was done on the radio, listening to teams far away.

A common complaint heard frequently in my circle of influence is “we can’t attend the [INSERT MEETING NAME HERE] because [INSERT CHILD NAME HERE] has a [INSERT SPORT EVENT HERE] game…” followed by a sigh. These people don’t (necessarily) have substantially more children than the families in my youth, but it appears there are SIGNIFICANTLY more opportunities for participation than ever before. I suspect the reason our economy is as robust as it appears to be is simply the result of purchasing vehicles for transporting kids to and from their sporting activities (and the resultant petrol purchases propelling these mini-vans). As I recall, I only had two games a week and maybe as many practices, but I rode my bicycle to and from these events. Twice a season my parents would come to see a game (was OK with that, as I was a horrible player overall, but the team ice cream cone treat afterward made it worth while).

Raising my son in the 90’s was trips to the swim meets, but since practice was at the school and he was there daily anyway there was no extra involvement. It didn’t feel substantially more excessive than my youth. Apparently that changed with the incoming new millennium…

With my disability/mobility issues there are really few options available to me at this time to “participate” in sports, so I am content to spectate. I just need to figure out how to assess and prioritize which events I will be attending to capitalize on my limited resources. Usually, I decline most offers to attend (which frees up about 22 evening hours a week) but have accepted the role of nominal mascot for the kickball team.

There’s really not anything on TV on Wednesday nights anyway….

Phred

post 72 of n

(*Close Enough For Government Work)

A Century Of Writing (Days)

Well, even though this is late, it is a recognition of a milestone in my writing career. On May the 20th, two monumental events occurred: David Letterman hosted his last show of Late Night with David Letterman, and 100 days had passed since starting this blog.

Of the two, the TV event was certainly the more celebrated and recognized. In my life, however, the passing of time and the point that I am still here, plugging away at the keyboard is significantly more important. Frankly, I had serious doubts about the chances of keeping to a new habitual behavior for more than a couple of weeks. (This is the principle reason that I stopped making “New Year’s Resolutions” half a decade ago. Now I do “New Year’s Intentions” to suggest I already know I will probably fail before the year…quarter…month…week…day…hour passes.)

But now I have kept up for nearly a third of a year. (OK, OK, I confess to having failed in my 3-a-week just now, but I claim extenuating circumstances and the need to assist my kids in a galaxy city far, far away….) What an exciting accomplishment, and a wild ride as well. I crunched the numbers from the stats page (goes back to my days as an analyst and statistician) and found a few interesting things.

So far, I have had 355 visitors to the site and altogether they viewed 704 pages. The bulk of the visitors came from the U.S.A. (which is to be expected) but there were an additional 13 countries listed (in alphabetical order: Australia, Canada, France, Germany, Indonesia, Israel, Japan, Malaysia,  Pakistan, Romania, South Africa, Turkey, United Kingdom). Statistics appear for 64 different pages and posts (there are a few missing, but they may be linked pages that are not counted) and total views range from 1 to 33 each (the home page has 195 views by itself).

Is this significant information, useful, or even relevant? Not to most, for sure, but to me it is a fascinating glimpse of the world at large and my (microscopic) part within it. In many ways it has already exceeded my wildest expectations. It is (at the very least) sufficient to keep going for (at least) another third of a year and see what the numbers show then.

Thanks to all who have participated and keep checking in…

Phred

post 71 of n

Life Is Good Except When It’s Not

I’m not at home this week, helping the kids with taxi needs. My daughter in law had her transmission fail this week and I came down to taxi them while the car is in the shop.

As a result I am not home and blogging here is nearly impossible so meeting the quota this week is iffy. I’ll make it up next week for sure.

Thanks for your patience.

Phred

post 70 of n

Book Review: Manage Your Day-To-Day: Build Your Routine, Find Your Focus & Sharpen Your Mind

Another book read as a result of a tutorial blog suggestion. This was useful in bringing focus to my daily activities and schedule. Manage Your Day-To-Day is a collection of twenty articles listed in four categories (and a couple of additional articles to introduce and wrap up the book) by as many different authors. It’s edited by Jocelyn K. Glei.

Section one is Building A Rock-Solid Routine and includes one of my favorite blog authors, Leo Babauta from Zen Habits. These five articles set reasons for why having a regular set of activities done regularly (preferably daily) and using specific triggers (location, setting, ambiance) help key your mind to be effective and creative. Consistency and habit work together to build inertia and increase productivity.

Chapter two is Finding Focus In A Distracted World. Today’s information rich environment provides excessive opportunity for distraction (ding…another e-mail has arrived) and this chapter suggests ways to strengthen your resolve to avoid distractions. It also includes an article debunking the multi-tasking myth (human brains are wired to focus on only one thing at a time, so what we really do is task switching and each change adds overhead reducing overall effectiveness). Several good reminders here that I am trying to implement in my own environment (SQUIRREL!).

Taming Your Tools is a chapter that deals with the over consumption of information (rather than using “information overload” as an excuse… it’s not the information’s fault we look at it) and hov to bring sanity into the use of social media and e-mail. The world really WON’T end if we don’t immediately check each e-mail that comes in (unless you happen to be a SAC commander or bomber pilot). A reminder of who is wielding who.

The last chapter is Sharpening Your Creative Mind, giving several ideas about ways to enhance and produce creativity when it’s not flowing of it’s own accord. For me, the writing on letting go of perfectionism was required reading (perhaps not immediately obvious from reading these posts, I am afraid), several times until it really sunk in (2-3 cm so far). There’s help for what to do when you are “stuck” that was useful.

Overall, the book is an easy read (short articles, though not quite as brief as Rework) but there are a couple of formatting issues I have problems with. To breakup the sections, they used three different colours of paper, so there are some introduction pages in each chapter with white text on red paper, and summaries using white on black paper. While it makes finding the sections quite easy, the contrast, font style, and point size made reading more difficult than necessary (for me, at least), especially the red pages.

There was enough good stuff in here for me to use (some were reminders and some were insights) so I would give it a rating of 41 out of 67. The four times I read it this past week will probably be the last time I rent the book from the library (but at least I know where I can find it if necessary).

Phred

post 67 of n

Organic Obstacle Course

It’s spring in mid Michigan. Today it rained since before I awoke to the evening news broadcast. We got about 1.5 cm (half inch and a skosh more) of rain, a steady light rain most of the day with a few stronger showers early in the day. Much needed both to wet the ground and to flush some of the tree pollen from the air.

I went to town to pickup a library card and to participate in the local election event at the fire station. On the way home, I noticed a certain sign of the end of the winter season, the beginning of the Olympic organic obstacle course from the parking lot to the apartment building.  There is a concrete walkway consisting of segments about a meter long and the same distance wide (it was poured in one piece, but there are “lines” sunk into the surface to help prevent buckling and should a break occur it will me more likely to split along the lines). As I left my car early in the afternoon (about 5-7 hours after the rains began) I noticed the earthworms had left the safety of the grass and were migrating down and across the walk. Lots of worms, each square had at least 2 and there were a couple with more than 25 squirming creatures slithering along the rough top surface.

Now let it be said that I am not a particularly cruel person. I don’t take pleasure from needlessly ending the lives of lesser creatures in the great chain of existence. I am not a master student of zen where I avoid harming any and every living creature (do these more zealous adherents eat yoghurt?) and I am not a maniacal slaughterer of any and everything that moves, crossing either line on the road to hit any and all targets within range. For the most part, I hold a middle of the path point of view. I like spiders but discourage them from living within the center of my space (corners and unused areas are fine). Now that I no longer deliver propane I have become more tolerant of wasp and hornet nests (at one time I carried nerve agents to take the battle successfully against these monsters). I allow anthills to rise unmolested in the cracks of the local sidewalks (when I would walk my son to the bus stop, it was a daily competition to see who would wipe current building progress off the face of the Earth… it never seemed to have any effect as the next day the course was rebuilt for that day’s event.)

I simply don’t like walking on worms. I don’t have an excessive love for these builders of healthy soil, having sent many generations of them to a watery grave to feed the fishes. (Occasionally a fish would mistakenly BITE the worm and come home for lunch, but that was a rare event.) With my disability, I try to avoid sticking my cane tip into anything nasty that will follow me home onto the fluffy carpet I walk on barefoot. Tips, actually, as I have a quad-footed cane that will stand in the corner unattended (but has 4 times the opportunity to squish crud into the floor), so it is more of a challenge to find wormless sidewalk in the rain. Coupled with my limited mobility, and I deserve at least bronze in the trip to and from the car. Silver when I carry bags from the store (or library, hint hint).

Much as I find snow a distraction, at least it discourages insect infestation. Ladybugs are fine, box elder bugs are neutral (but very annoying), but some of what’s out there is just nasty. One year when I participated in the Chesanning Showboat Choir, a show of local and national talent that performed on a faux paddle-style riverboat (the paddles were fake, the river and boat very real), the mayfly hatch was worse than usual. There were so many of the 1-3 inch bugs flying around that night the stagehands had to sweep the stage between acts to keep the performers from falling down. Street lights on the drive home attracted so many bugs the effective visibility was down to a couple dozen feet. The road got slippery from dead bugs.

Then there’s the “June bugs” coming later this month. They are a kind of beetle that spends the first part of it’s life as a white grub that destroys lawns before morphing into brown, crunchy flying irritants. They are attracted to area lights, so they will accumulate on the screens of outside doors open to allow cool breezes to come indoors on warm evenings. They have tiny claws on their feet, so if (when) they fly and land on your clothing (hair) you can’t easily brush them off. Add the fact they just look creepy and click and buzz when flying around the porch lights, I get the shudders just thinking about them.

Most of the year, I like living here. Summer brings micro pets (I habitually give back rubs to any mosquito that comes by) and brilliant sunny days (vinegar was mom’s go to for dealing with sunburn). Thunderstorms bring natural firework displays (and intermittent power outages). Temp and humidity will often be 90-90 during the dog days of summer (and will bite you in the [REDACTED] if your air conditioning goes out). All in all, spring in Michigan is just about perfect, Except when it’s not…

Gold medal for living here awarded after successfully keeping worms on the sidewalk!

Phred

post 63 of n

Silly Season Holiday Edition

So just another brief rant about artificial holidays, but this one is definitely an artifact by marketers. The geek in me should rejoice in Star Wars Day, but the pragmatist just can’t achieve buy in. Too campy, too contrived.

Ill, I am. Sick, it makes me. (Channeling my inner Yoda)

Sweetest Day, Secretaries’ Day, and Grandparent’s Day were bad enough. Artificial celebrations created specifically to generate additional revenue. How many people took the day off work to do a movie marathon watching them all? Maybe 6 or 7?

You could make a similar argument for Pi Day in March, and you would be right. Except for the point Pie day is a once in a millennium  occurrence. When the next one comes around, You, your children, grand children, and their descendants of several generations will have come and gone. I think there is no way NOT to celebrate such a rare event with at least a nod to its propriety.

And it continues tomorrow. I have to go out and get chips and salsa for the party tomorrow, though I still don’t understand.

Why American recognizes the importance of a sink full of mayo…

Phred

post 62 of n

Updated Definition Of Insanity?

“Doing the same thing but expecting a different outcome” is one working understanding of what insanity is (maybe not a clinical term, but a working one for us non-medical people). I know deep in the dark recesses of my inner self that, unless I make real, significant changes in my way of thinking, I will continue to exhibit the same, reoccurring pattern of self-defeating behavior and the physical and psychic decay that marks my current state of existence.

Each morning I leap climb crawl out of bed with the vision that today will be the day I am successful in [INSERT PET IDEA OF THE WEEK HERE]. Each evening (or more likely, several hours past midnight) when I slip crawl collapse into bed and review the day’s events I am forced to conclude that I have totally failed at [INSERT PET IDEA OF THE WEEK HERE] and will have to try harder tomorrow (or more likely, later this morning).

Apparently I’m insane, as I do this daily.

Take my computer activity for instance. I know if I start working on a project I tend to get so focused that I can easily spend a couple of hours straight at the keyboard without ever moving more than 8-10 inches. When my vision drifts toward yellow and the needs of the flesh become insistent I am reminded remaining stationary for extended periods is NOT a good way to live with arthritis.

[Insert commercial for Depends here.]

There have been several “get up and move” assignments for the PET IDEA OF THE WEEK with the “expected” result (or lack of same). As I pointed out in an earlier post, ” I am only a good intention. I am a really, REALLY bad implementer of change.” So I guess I must submit the plea “not guilty by reason of insanity” for my actions.

Except maybe today can be different. With the death of my I-Pad, I have broken out my Palm Pilot again (mostly to use as as calendar app; my cell phone version is worse than my old Franklin Planner after dropping it in the toilet a few times). One of the apps on the expansion card is a program called PocketDoan that can be used to signal the passing of a series of time periods.

I think it was made to assist people in meditation / prayers / yoga / psychic activities, giving a gentle tone to start the next activity. [2 minutes pass here.] By shifting the burden of keeping track of how long you are doing [INSERT ACTIVITY HERE] from your conscious mind, you can better focus on  successfully accomplishing [INSERT ACTIVITY HERE].

My “Computer Work” program is a 20 minute period of productive work, followed by 2 minutes of “rest eyes” time (when i stop looking at the screen and either do distance vision exercises or just palm my eyes). This cycle repeats twice and after a third work period I get a 10 minute “get up and move” notice. So I get an hour of work time every 74 minutes with an “enforced” break to stretch and keep the joints from freezing up.

This post is being written in the third cycle tonight. So far, I have gotten up twice in the last couple of hours and this is two times more than I would have earlier in the month (week) [day]. And my eyes have been allowed to “rest” more than they do in a week of normal life (sleep not included).

It is way too small a sample to determine if here is a repeatable pattern or change in habitual behavior as a result of this experiment, but I am cautiously optimistic about the future. I will try again tomorrow and see if I can keep up with this new “program.”

Except…

What if I make a successful change in activity but there is no change in results? The presumption inherent in the initial paragraph is “if A implies B” (same action generates same results). The thought is if I change the action it should change the outcome or “if NOT A implies NOT B” in logic form. What if this is invalid logic? What if it really doesn’t matter what I [10 minutes pass here] do, that the outcome will be the same if I try or not (Yoda not withstanding)? What if another working definition is “doing different things but experiencing the same outcome”? What if Pavlov’s legacy is no longer valid?

I am fearful, but will press on. Perhaps tomorrow will be better and the signals from my Palm will allow me to breakthrough my current rut. I can be hopeful.

And Dilbert was right, the pellets are excellent.

Phred

post 61 of n

Glimpse Of A Vision

I believe I am spending too much time wandering through various addictions within the internet. To my limited frustration, I have discovered looking at some of the pages I check daily are sponsored (or actually made) by Lay’s (the potato chip people). Bets that I can only eat watch just one are all off. The worst two offenders are Facebook (which I really don’t understand) and YouTube.

I don’t do too much on FB as a participant, but will look down the home and news post lists, only to find an hour passes before I am aware of it. Kudos to Travis for posting some of the craziest and funniest links I have seen. (It would be nice, though, if you could limit them to less than 20-30 a day so I can get some actual work done.) Occationally I find something I can relate to too much and add it to my page / wall / whatever it’s called (told you I don’t understand this place).

The addiction to YouTube is somewhat more problematic. I use some of my subscriptions as a learning tool for my Blender education. So I can’t really afford to stop wandering around the site, but some of the links are more practical than others. Some provide useful information while others are simply eye candy, useful for a distraction or to unlax if needed.

One of the less productive sites is my Adult Swim subscription. Or so I thought until today. I don’t watch this channel much, but today it showed up on my “we think you’d like or should see this” list and I started watching an episode of Food|Off the Air and the part with the banana mask (about 15 seconds in) was really funny. I kinda lost interest shortly afterward and started fast forwarding through the rest of the episode until I got to the Western Spagetti segment (at about 4:18). I was totally fascinated by the segment and fast forwarded (after watching it 3 or 4 times) to the credits to find out who made it.

The  PESfilm channel in YouTube has 44 videos involving stop action animation. Since one of my year’s intentions is to become a CG artist, learning animation is a part of the task I am working on. Stop action uses a series of still pictures where items are moved slightly between frames. I ended up watching over a dozen back to back before I needed to leave (late as it was for my meeting, but I didn’t care). When I got back home I continued where I left off.

Spaghetti Western is one of my favorites. It is really well done (as are most of the films archived) and I would highly recommend it for a smile. I’ll link to it on my FB page to share the joy with others.

Later I will post more about my artistic progress so far this year, but I can’t just yet.

There’s still a couple of unread emails and several vid’s to watch….

Phred

post 59 of n