Memories of Marilyn

In 1962, President Kennedy had a special birthday celebration, including a rendition of HBDTY by Marilyn Monroe. I was quite young at the time (5) and have no clear recollection apart from watching newsreels and replays over the last 5 decades. Quite a celebration, but not enough to hit the national holiday list. Washington, on the other hand, did have a holiday dedicated to him, at least originally.

Monday the 16th is now referred to as President’s Day, but it used to be called Washington’s Birthday. Yesterday was Lincoln’s. Looking at the site http://www.timeanddate.com/holidays/us/ lists hundreds of holidays of all sorts. Chase’s Calendar of Events 2015 is even more extensive, listing 12,500 events, holidays and special observances for the year. (I owned a copy of this book many years ago, having heard about it on the radio broadcast “Weekend Radio with Ronald Conrad” on WCLV.) Check it out at http://2015chasescalendarofevents.com/ and find out how you can celebrate “your special day” in many, many ways.

But, what I want to know, is who decides when we celebrate, what, and why? Until recently, we had 2 days set aside to presidents, but the vast majority of victims were not deemed sufficient to take a day off for. Why not Millard Filmore, or Richard Nixon for example? We do MLK day but not Columbus day (at least here in Michigan). This year, Independence Day gets double the recognition, being observed (for time off of work) on Friday the 3rd as well as the (traditional) 4th of July.

WHY? (I have a rant about artificial holidays like grandparents and sweetest day, but that will wait for another post.) What or who decided the eleven “official holidays and non-working days” listed were the “correct” ones to celebrate? Why not something in March, April, and August (well, technically we might consider 4/15 to be a national holiday, a very somber event for some, no time off though) to balance out the work year? Christmas has some religious implications as well, but the government has seen fit to include it in (most) lists.

School calendars seem to use a different set of criteria as well. They take off days for many minor deities not in the official Washington pantheon of celebrants. Spring Break? Year End’s Period For Recharging? (These days most school kids spend more time at home in December than in school. When I was a kid, we got off early on the 24th and went back to school on January 2nd.)

Now, since my disability has taken me from the workforce, I am not as adversely affected by the holiday calendar, except when it expects me to purchase gifts for others (see future rant blog for more details). When I try to schedule events with others of gainful employment age I am forced to ask when they are available. Wouldn’t want to offend someone by presuming or omitting a prearranged celebration for someone or thing in their culture.

I’m in favor of making National Ice Cream Day a long weekend…

Phred

post 12 of n

Clothes Masks the Man

Maybe I have been hasty in my selection of themes for the blog. In an effort to come closer to my center, I spent the last hour (or more, as time dilates when doing something you love, hate, or uses technology) and think this format speaks to me.

Just need to keep the finger nails trimmed closely.

Phred.

Post 11 of n

Ready, FIRE, Aim….

While it was bound to happen eventually, I guess today is the magic day.

Welcome to my nightmare! This is the “official” launch post for my blog career. Effective 12 February 2015 I do hereby announce the phredtheelder blog to be active and subject to public scrutiny.

The focus and direction this site will take is subject to change without notice (possibly without noticing, as well). I am uncertain what the overriding message is, to be discovered over time. I do promise to provide at least three messages each week, perhaps more. I promise to provide (what passes around here as) wisdom, knowledge, and general life experiences*.

I hope that something (somewhere, sometime) you find here enriches your life in some small way. Perhaps a laugh, a “hmmm” moment, a slight spike in blood pressure. If I can provoke a thought or contemplation, it will have been worth it.

In any case, it should be a heck of a ride… Welcome aboard.

Phred

post 10 of n

*(Universal Disclaimers: Use only as directed. Do not drive or operate machinery while reading blog. Should drowsiness occur, we wouldn’t be a bit surprised. . .The characters in this work are imaginary. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where taxed or prohibited by law. All sales are final. Not legal for trade. Do not remove this tag under penalty of law. Close cover before striking. Keep away from children. Actual mileage may vary. Close-captioned for the hearing impaired. Dispose of properly. An equal opportunity employer (M/F/H/Q/Z/R/S/L). All times Eastern Standard. Allow 4-6 weeks for delivery. Substantial interest penalty for early withdrawal. This bag is not a toy. Simulated TV reception. A paid political announcement. Alcohol 0% by volume. No purchase is necessary; you need not be present to win. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 451F. Severe tire damage. Package not child-resistant. Author carries no cash. No step. For prevention of disease only. Post office will not deliver mail without postage. Objects in mirror are closer than they appear. This door must remain unlocked during business hours. Unleaded gasoline only. Member FDIC. . .This product is sold by weight, not by volume. Jokes may have settled slightly during shipping.)

Sermon From the Sidelines: A One Minute Message on Signal To Noise Ratio (*)

“11 And he said , Go forth , and stand upon the mount before the LORD. And, behold, the LORD passed by , and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the LORD; but the LORD was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the LORD was not in the earthquake: 12 And after the earthquake a fire; but the LORD was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice. 13 And it was so, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle, and went out…”

Scripture to meditate upon: 1 Kings 19: 11-13a

An idea I learned while in the Navy studying electronics was the concept of the “signal to noise ratio” in communications. Basically, the stronger the signal was compared to the level of noise, the better you were able to communicate. A stronger signal or less noise was desired.

The most recent retreat reminded me of this concept while sitting at a meal. I had a hard time following much of the conversation at the table because of the presence of several loud conversations occurring behind me. There was a large noise component, so it was hard to get the info being presented.

In general, if you are doing the transmitting you can control the strength of the signal. If you are the receiver, you (generally) don’t have much control over the signal, but you can mitigate the effects of the noise present. A “speak louder” verses “listen harder” contest. (An example is if you have a hard time hearing a phone conversation you can move to a quieter location or ask others to ‘turn it down’ to reduce the noise level).

And so it goes with seeking the voice of God. We have little (read: none) control of how strong the message is, but we have the ability to control and reduce the noise in our lives. Increasing quietness  is just as effective in making the S/N ratio larger as provoking God to yell at us… and considerably more pleasant!

Phred the Elder
DC3 Heretic Laureate

(* Disclaimer: 60 Second Sermon guaranteed if you read fast enough)

[Original posting to e-mail 1/30/2015]

Sermon From the Sidelines: A One Minute Message on Reinstituting Blue Laws (*)

“Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou labor, and do all thy work But the seventh day is the sabbath of the LORD thy God in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates”

Scripture to meditate upon: Nehemiah 13:15-22

The other day I was in the kitchen doing a batch of dishes with the TV tuned to the classic rock channel on cable. I was mindlessly singing along with the music (and mindlessly doing the dishes…the proper state of mind for this kind of activity, but I digress) when the lyrics slowly sunk into my awareness. Lionel Richie was singing “… that’s why I’m easy … easy like Sunday morning …”

So much for mindless dish washing. I began to wonder about what exactly there was about Sunday that would lead to this phrase showing up in a song. I can’t date the song exactly, but it would appear to come from the mid-70s and so a history lesson is in order for people blessed with limited experience from the dark ages of the 20th century.

Once upon a time, there were generally accepted standards of behavior for people in a society. These were usually understood and instilled by tradition and were passed down as a part of a child’s upbringing. Communities were fairly closed groups and bonded together often of necessity due to the hazards and perils of living in general. Over time, with advances in technology (fire, wheels, betamax and 3-g networks) people became more likely to migrate away from their established groups and mingle with the “heathen” in the next valley. With sweeping licentious and immoral behavior (like spending the day doing “anything” else than going to church) becoming rampant, regulations were created to enforce “socially acceptable” behavior. Sunday laws or Blue laws were set up to regulate travel, trade, recreation, and other activities. In short, go to church and honor God on Sunday.

When I was little (early in the decade of the 60s) I remember you couldn’t buy much of anything on Sunday, because nothing was open. No Meijers, no 7-11s, or Starbucks. Gas stations were closed except maybe for an occasional rebel on the major highway. Want to eat? Go home, because the restaurants were closed (no Ronald Mac’s either).

Fast forward to high school (early in 70’s). Still some holdouts closed half of the weekend, but you can now travel, purchase food (both prepared and basic staples from a grocery store…packaged in brown paper bags that rarely failed and made great landing zones for cookies coming hot out of the oven), and pretty much live a “normal” life.

So how to interpret the lyrics in question? I guess the idea being promoted is because Sunday morning was no longer a period of time restricted to preparing for meeting the creator God of the universe and spending a period of introspection and soul-searching. That you could spend the day essentially doing exactly what you wanted to do, not what you “had” to (like go to work/school during the week). So, since M-F was work, and Saturday was the time you had to use to do the things you “had” to do at home, that left Sunday for slack.

I guess…..

Today, it must seem bizarre to consider the idea of spending a whole day without commerce or the trappings of technology. Time communing with family and friends, of seeking silence and the still small voice of God. Going to church, gathering together with like-minded believers and experiencing the Kingdom up close and personal. Then spending the rest of the day meditating on the experience.

Rather than a round of golf at dawn, tailgating the game in the afternoon, and grabbing a burger on the way home to crash in time to drag out of bed Monday morning to go back to the 9 to 5 grind.

There ought to be a law….oh, wait! There IS one…(ten, actually).

Phred the Elder
DC3 Fireside Heretic Laureate

(* Disclaimer: 60 Second Sermon guaranteed if you read fast enough)

[Original posting to e-mail 3/9/2010]

Sermon From the Sidelines: A One Minute Message on Lint For Lent (*)

“Moreover when ye fast, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance …” Matthew 6:16a

Scripture to meditate upon: Matthew 6:16-18; Matthew 4:1-2

One of the guys I race with (board game racing) came in with a couple of pizzas last race night and offered them to us. When asked about toppings he explained “his” was a double cheese and the other was a supreme (ham, sausage, onion, green pepper). Then he said if we didn’t eat it he would probably just throw it away because it was Lent.

Setting aside the obvious question (why buy it in the first place!?) I was reminded of growing up in a Catholic house. Mac and cheese and/or fish every Friday and giving “something” up for 40 days. I never understood how not chewing gum for a month made me more spiritual (still don’t understand) but that was the “usual” sacrifice to the greater glory of god. (Truth was uglier…usually cut down on consumption rather than abstain in total…but then again, that was what the Saturday confession was for anyway, eh!)

Flash forward 45 years. Seems like few people are as actively involved in the ritual of Lent today. Perhaps it’s because I circulate in a different crowd (Shiawassee county had a large population from central European countries and devoutly Catholic), but I suspect it has more to do with the global increase in cynicism. Not that many people visibly participating in the marathon (Gee, only 38 more days to go….).

And yet, we still mark the event on our calendars. Paczki and Marti Gras for the heathen, Ash Wednesday and Lent for the devout, the time leading up to Easter is supposed to provide an opportunity (or excuse) for lifestyle changes, at least for a little while. We “remember” Christ’s sacrifices in the wilderness by giving up something we like for 6 weeks. And so we feel satisfaction if we succeed or guilt (in theory) if we fail. And then we continue on with our lives after dinner on Easter afternoon.

But have you ever REALLY considered the implications of Lent? Christ spent His 40 days in the wilderness, fasting and being tried (tested) by the devil. I don’t think it is fair to envision the Lord giving up a hamburger one day a week or eliminating a petty pleasure (lint pickers) that doesn’t really have any significance and thinking that God the Father would be really impressed. The reality was no bed and breakfast, no Starbucks (Biggby around here) or Mac Gag’s drive throughs, no blueray, DVDs, CDs, Dish Network or Comcast. No soap (I thought about giving up personal hygiene for Lent, but didn’t think those closest —  down wind – to me were ready to make that big of a sacrifice) or Fabreeze, Downy, Clorox or any other under the counter goodies (better living through chemistry). No internet. No signal (talk about a blank coverage map). No social network, local area network, traffic network. .

In essence, no anything. Just the created world and an opportunity to draw closer to God without the trappings (distractions) of “life”. Spending a month living with scorpions, sun, sand, and solitude.

How shallow our petty promises of self-denial appear next to what our Lord embraced. Let us then try something harder and closer to the ideal. May I suggest we give up self delusion for Lent and really allow God to conform us to the image of His Son. Without moping around and enjoying the pity party held in our behalf.

Or we can do that hygiene thing……

Phred the Elder
DC3 Fireside Heretic Laureate

(* Disclaimer: 60 Second Sermon guaranteed if you read fast enough)

[Original posting to e-mail 3/1/2010]

Sermon From the Sidelines: A One Minute Message on the Duty of a Watchman (*)

“So thou, O son of man, I have set thee a watchman …” Ezekiel 33:7a

Scripture to meditate upon: Ezekiel 33:1 – 9

As we were wrapping up the group discussion on witnessing this week, the leader pointed out how hard it is to “pull the trigger” and ask for a commitment to Christ and His kingdom. Because it is easier and less threatening to dodge the “are you ready to choose” than to face the flack that might come up, we tend to play it safe and wait for a better time.

On the ride home, I remembered an illustration from earlier training classes: the burning building example. Just this year the news reported a story where a neighbor saw the house next door on fire and ran into the kitchen and started yelling for the people to leave the building. A mother and her children were awakened and fled to safety as a result. In a similar way, the lost world around us are asleep in a building destined to destruction by fire.

Consider this: accepting the Lordship of Christ and His kingdom comes with a view. Think of yourself sitting on the lifeguard tower at the beach, looking out over the multitudes splashing about and oblivious to danger. In the background is the sound of a cello (dum dum dum dum….) and in the distance is a grey dorsal fin….

SHARK!!!!!!!!!

Phred the Elder
DC3 Fireside Heretic Laureate

(* Disclaimer: 60 Second Sermon guaranteed if you read fast enough)

[Originally posted as e-mail on 2/22/2010]

Fig Mints

Welcome to my sandbox. While it may not be a surprise to anyone that has known me for a length of time, the newcomer should be (gently) made aware I play with words. Seriously play, as in puns, spoonerisms, obscure words and meanings, clever rhetorical excursions, oddly formed sentences, double entendres, malapropisms… you get the idea. I suspect it comes from a childhood spent mostly with books.

I have a comparatively limited set of memories of my younger days, say from age 15 or so. Some involving playing baseball (not very well in an athletic sense, but seemingly fun) and family vacations (camping was great fun if you could ignore the mosquitoes). But most involve a book or two…or ten.

I have always enjoyed reading, which makes getting older such a pain (needing glasses to read is life’s greatest annoyance in this millennium). I spent hours reading primarily three types of books: science fiction stories, dictionaries, and encyclopedias [Funk and Wagnalls, as mentioned in an earlier post). In my one-bedroom apartment, there are (at least, I’m not quite sure I haven’t missed a couple) twenty-three (23) shelves of books and other word-containing objects. That doesn’t include boxes in the storeroom (come to think of it, there’s a couple of shelves in there holding books as well) or the file cabinet with printed articles and pamphlets. My wallet holds five library cards and a box in the dresser has a couple more from a previous life (memo to self: the four books currently checked out are due back next Friday…).

So, in theory, writing a blog should be easy. Just open the spigot and let it flow. In practice I’m finding it to be about on par with mowing the lawn, a task I tried to avoid as much as possible when younger. Something that needed to be done and that was worse the longer I put it off, but that seemed like a waste of time (that could have been spent reading!) and (unreasonably) hard work. Fortunately I was confronted with the voice of reason (at first mom and dad, and later my ex) and (eventually) spent the time and energy to get the job done.

Apparently writers have an internal “voice of reason” as well. Some would call them Muses, but I think Nag is closer to reality. This morning, I awoke a couple of hours earlier than normal due (in part to a pee sized bladder) to an idea for a posting. Considering it to be far too early to arise from such a comfortable repose, I gently told my brain to shut down and go back to sleep. Ha! Fat lot of good that did. After only a forty-five minute struggle I dragged my lazy leaped from my bed and came here to share my delight at watching another sun rise in peace and solitude.

And so, gentle reader, you might be wondering what any of the above has to do with a confection created by combining the fruit of the ficus carica and the flavor of plants from the genus mentha. In the spirit of full disclosure, I must confess to being slightly deceptive in naming this posting. It is, sadly, not the complete title as indented. The original title was to be “Fig Mints of My Ema Gin Nation” but I feared it would not be quite as compelling to read as the final choice. Perhaps I should reconsider my choices.

Perhaps I should have reconsidered my choice to get up early in the first place!

Hark! I hear the voice of my pillow   muse calling me from the other room. Until next time, then I remain…

Phred

post 3 of n

Info On Previous Posts From E-Mail

The next several posts (it appears newest is on top…) are carryover from ideas sent to a group by e-mail. I want to make the information available, but can’t figure out how to hide them at the bottom of the list. So, especially if you are interested in chronological postings you might want to skim ahead a few (the minute messages).

Thank you for your patience.

Phred

post 5 of n (might have to reconsider this count thing…)